• The only thing about himis his opinion of himself.
• He'll talk eloquently on any subject, provided the subject of himself.
• Don't take any notice. He's just letting off esteem.
• His opinion of himself is not just high, it's in orbit.
• He's so egotistical he calls out his own name during sex.

• He is so slow that moss grows on him
• He is so slow he can't even catch his own breath
• He has the charisma of a bollard
• He's the kind of bore who's here today and here tomorrow
• He's the ideal subject for aspiring hypnotists

• If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week
• He got into gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't looking
• He is as think as a whale omelette
• He's on permanent leave of absence from his senses
• He took an IQ test - and the results were negative

• Yo mama's so fat she could sell shade
• Yo mama's so fat that when she has sex, she had to give directions
• Yo mama's so fat she plays Frisbee with UFOs
• Yo mama's so fat , when she gets on the scale it says, 'To Be Continued"
• Yo mama's so old she farts dust
• Yo mama's so old she drove a chariot to school
• Yo mama's so old, she doesn't leave fingerprints anymore
• Yo mama's so old her birth certificate expired
• Yo mama's so ugly, her fat butt is her good side
• Yo mama's so ugly she could scare the moss off a rock
• Yo mama's so ugly, even a hitman wouldn't take her out
• Yo mama's so ugly she could make a onion cry
• Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks 'oral sex' means talking about it
• Yo mama's so stupid she thinks her twin lives in the mirror
• Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks a web site is where spiders live
• Yo mama's so stupid she called the drugs hotline to order some
• Yo mama's so smelly, her poo is glad to escape
• Yo mama's so smelly she hums more than humming bird
• Yo mama's so smelly, dogs roll around on her
• Yo mama's so smelly even dogs won't sniff her.

Labels: i love her